Stay at home moms are bored and isolated. They can wait. 1. For this reason, I have discovered a whole new level of multi-tasking. But when you ask how I’m feeling and I say I’m in pain or uncomfortable after a major surgery, I don’t necessarily want to hear, “but it’s all worth it.”. Other Women Love to Say, “But It’s All Worth It” to New Moms, Here’s my disclaimer: I would most definitely give my life for my baby. "I love being a mom because of the hugs, the giggles, and the grins. Trying to look my best wasn't about putting on a show, it was about re-finding my identity. When I arrived at the hospital I refused an IV because I was convinced I would not need to go into surgery. . Being a "Fashion Mom" Is Not About “Aspirational Motherhood”. A post shared by Kerry Pieri (@kerrypieri), 2. Honestly, as soon as I started being more authentic about who I am, my work life improved. A Baby’s Going to Do What a Baby’s Going to Do. is, in a word, surreal. 3. Being a mother certainly isn’t a walk in the park, but your attitude can help make a difference for sure. After I found out I was pregnant, it didn't take long before I began reading, researching, and preparing myself physically, intellectually, and emotionally for this seemingly far-off notion called parenthood. No rush. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. My approach is to try to be present wherever I am, working hard and efficiently at work, and then keeping my phone and computer off when I get home until Lila goes to bed. while slimming … 7. Single mom life is hard, but we know you can do more than just survive! . We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy. 8. Because I am a person who apparently lacks the foresight to know that I would not need summer dresses and heeled sandals postpartum, I packed many, many looks for my time at home. I was prepared for feeding every 2-3 hours, but whoa, this was not that. What I wear is a big part of my identity. During the birth, I wanted to skip the drugs; I wanted to wait to clamp the chord so that my baby could receive important blood back into her body; I wanted to not bathe her for a few days to help her build her micro-biome; I wanted to let her latch immediately and leave the hospital ASAP. It’s a momentous time in a woman's life, and the feelings she deals with are guaranteed to be as big as the love for her new child. But ask a group of moms and most would agree that it’s also the most rewarding. Being a mom is, indeed, one of the most difficult and challenging jobs in the world. My husband and I did a lot of walks in various parks in our neighborhood, talking through what we were feeling, taking it all in and trying to enjoy our last days of sleeping. She is now responsible for feeding a new baby approximately 53 times a day, and there’s no way in hell she can feed herself, her husband, or anyone else without some serious help. Here are the 11 things I would tell myself if I could go back in time. I have actually compared Lila to having a new toy that I never, ever get sick of. You Really Appreciate the People Worth Appreciating. "The best part of being a young first-time mom is being a youngish experienced mom now. Before we get to the list of positive steps you can take toward your quest of how to be a happy mom, we need to get on the same page with two important issues:. I returned to work after I was lucky enough to take a few months of maternity leave. And maybe with a night nurse next time. Well lets face it, the world is changing and so are those traditions. There is not a single book written that has all the answers. There are many, many mothers right alongside us living the same cocktail of sleep deprivation, confusion, and unadulterated love. I touched on this back there, but it bears pulling out into its own point. I did insist on keeping my baby in the room with me the whole time, which was met with more push-back than I would have expected. Building block towers, making grilled cheese sandwiches and pushing kids on the swings are great. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, Chef Mashama Bailey Got Her Seat at the Table, The Racial Reckoning Inside Planned Parenthood, Prince Charles And Princess Diana's Love In Photos, Toyin Ojih Odutola and Yaa Gyasi in Conversation, In Photos: Mia Farrow's Most Iconic Moments. The harrowing tale was quickly followed up with the always-present, sunny addendum, “but it’s all worth it.” I wanted to say, it’s okay that you were scared or were in pain and you are commenting on it, it doesn’t take away from who you are as a mother or how much you’re willing to withstand for your child. How To Wear Fragrance Like Meghan and Kate, Nia DaCosta & Carmen Maria Machado in Conversation, The Best Looks from Jil Sander Pre-Fall 2021, I Saw Myself in Grace Fraser of 'The Undoing', RBG's Granddaughter Reflects on Her Legacy. 6. (Sure, just try to make a new mom stop Googling [insert maniacal laughing GIF here].). When the baby is born, the thought of taking such huge responsiblity could be overwhelming for a new mother. It’s a crazy whirl of embracing her growth and development and feeling sad that the days of just quietly snuggling have come to an end. Read books for ideas but remember that you will know what’s best for your baby and always follow your instincts. Set it up so that you and a bunch of friends and their family members can pitch in to make sure the new parents are being fed during those crazy first days and months. A fellow new mom recently told me her birth story, in which she nearly bled out and almost died while giving birth. Calm down. A New Baby is a Perfect Reason for a Social Media Hiatus. . I was lucky enough to spend weeks at home with my husband and my family when Lila first arrived. So, if your close one has just stepped into motherhood, … When people offer to watch the baby so you can rest, REST, dammit. Read on for 35 pieces of advice for new moms from our mom tribe on Instagram. 3. This is maybe the most helpful thing you can do for a new mom. Mindfulness gives us an anchor as moms, allowing us to slow down and stand strong amidst the undertow of busyness. This is probably the best thing you can do for a new parent. Guilty over my realization that, after more than 15 years spent parenting three children as a stay-at-home mom, I don't love being a parent as much as I … I knew the change was coming, but I didn’t know exactly what it would be like or how I’d feel, or even who I would be when it was all said and done. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. 18 Ways To Help A Mom With A New Baby Whether your friend is a first-time mama or a seasoned vet on baby #5, here are some ways you can help . Calm down. The Days Before You Give Birth Are Very Weird. Have the right perspective. I didn’t pick up my phone for almost two weeks after giving birth and used it minimally for weeks after. But maybe that is the secret. Basically, a baby can insist (i.e. This content is imported from Instagram. Something Called Cluster Feeding Exists. 2. So be careful what you say about yourself and your baby. For example, common routines are breakfast, class, snack, lunch, nap time, and afternoon snack, and it is important to leave time slots open for flexibility, such as for special events and activities. Only 1 in 30 women give birth on their actual due date, so when you’re pregnant, there is about one month when it’s "most likely" you’ll go into labor. When you're tired, hand your kids a brush, point to your head and tell them to play beauty parlor. My doctor assured me this is normal and to stop Googling. But I’m already starting to mourn the time that’s over almost immediately after it’s over. Every product on this page was chosen by a Harper's BAZAAR editor. Privacy Policy. Make self-care non-negotiable. Why I’m Loving Being a Mom We have the best conversations. Multi-task. My one regret is not staying in that mindset longer. Have a basic schedule that you follow, including wake and sleep times, and some of the basic activities you do each day. Inspired by this article, Lisa and I are discussing how to enjoy being a mom in today’s Uniquely Woman episode.Motherhood is hard and it’s a gift from God, and that dichotomy often needs an attack plan in our daily lives. On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. You go this mama! It was decidedly not chic, but of course, this time was about bonding and being a food—and comfort—source for a new human, not being aesthetically pleasing. Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving Baby’s First Year. But like anything, you learn to adjust. Maternal mortality rates, especially for black women, are sadly and terrifyingly the highest in the U.S. compared to every other country in the developed world. A few inspirational quotes can give her the strength to go on, especially during those times when she might be feeling down or is engulfed with mommy guilt. … But I’m willing to get over that difficult first hump and do it all over again—maybe in a year or two. I was in surgery five hours later. Everyone says this time goes so fast because your baby is changing so quickly and it makes everything feel like it’s in hyper-speed. Discover how to change for surviving to thriving. 2. As tradition has it, you graduate school, get married, have kids, the end. 4. When You’re Just Not Enjoying Being a Mom The other day, I crossed paths with a seasoned empty nest mama who was congratulating me on our newest addition. You will be surrounded by ‘experts’ everywhere you go but in reality no one person is an expert on raising YOUR baby. I'm 42, and my kids are all teenagers or older tweens. Let’s enjoy being a stay-at-home mom as much as we can. I just want to pause and enjoy this good bit. 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